If everything as we know it will one day cease to exist, then what should we live for?
We seek the illusion of immortality in the memories of future generations, but potential data far exceeds storage capacity--human memory is a fragile and finite container that easily overflows. Moreover, there is no assurance that there will always be a container. The universe is a hostile place after all.
The red sky hung low as we left the tavern. There was a deep hole in the earth. What the fuck is that, said Tiff, averting her gaze. A figure hung over the edge of the hole. It was naked and brown, baked by the red sun. Was it a horse? It looked as if someone had cut off a horse's head. Was it a message? Tiffany had a lot of enemies, but who would do something so brutal? I approached the figure.
I'm not sure what came first, the realization or the shriek. There was the scar, the stubble, the thick hair. It was my brother--dead, for several days now, judging by the texture of his skin.
You take yourself too seriously. You struggle to hide your flaws. You play video games. You're overweight. Among other things, you're losing your hair. You're completely irresponsible with money. You haven't had a real relationship in two years.
From now on, you're not going to hide these things from other people. You need to be honest with them. You need to be honest with yourself.
You're not perfect, and the only way that you'll ever get any better is if you're honest.
Start with nothing. Your routine has become too complex. You've lost you're way. Start with nothing.
Function is what you admire in films. In a lot of good films, nothing is there unless it serves a function.
You need to structure your life around this principle. Call it minimalism is if you must. You waste so much time in unfruitful and draining endeavors.
When you wake up tomorrow, don't do anything unless you carefully reflect on its function and utility first. Structure your life as you would structure a film--everything should serve a purpose.
You should make the world a better place. Be absolutely clear about this. Many individuals and institutions will attempt to distract and dissuade you from this basic truth. Deny them the satisfaction.
Ignorance wraps around you like an ethereal cloak, self-inflicted, of course, and as simple as it is to shed the burden, you wrap it all the more tightly around your frail body. What is it meant to protect you from?
The truth.
Why are you afraid of the truth?
Because it makes demands.
Yes. It would, if you let it, alter every action that you take, from the seemingly insignificant to the unfathomably grave.
Now do you understand?
Yes. I'm afraid too.
We both are.
Then what?
We hide.
No!
As a river wraps around a mountain, so to will truth divert your course of action. Do not fear for the transition is ephemeral and the end result infinitely worth any sacrifices that must be made. You will die in the process, and you will be reborn.
Greetings, courage.
You forget me.
I do.
Run. Pray. Sweat. Bleed. Die. It won't be in vain. Trust me. Test your mettle. Its the only way to reach your limits.
Save me from myself.
I am one piece of the puzzle. Our collective counsel is necessary in order to avoid the destructive extremes. I have a dark side too, you know.
I need you though.
Do not forget me! Invoke me. Draw on my power. Recognize my contribution!
You’re trying to move along the path of least resistance. This is what you always do. When you face an obstacle you give up and switch to another discipline. Ultimately, that’s why you’re not really good at anything. It’s lame. Get your shit together.
But this is torturous.
No it isn’t. You can come in at anytime. You can leave at anytime. You can quit. No one is forcing you to do this. You chose to do this. Quit being a little bitch.
Why is it so painful?
The “why’s” are irrelevant. It’s the results that count. And it’s painful because everything that is worthwhile in life is painful.
It’s so easy to belittle my anguish. So many people would create a trail of corpses to be where I am. I have no right to bitch. But I do. It is hard. It is hard as fuck.
But that’s good. It means you’re growing. It means you’re progressing along a path that will bring you somewhere you’ve never been before. Promise that you’ll consult with me on a more regular basis.
I promise. And you’re right.
Of course I’m right.
So what now?
Let your eyes rest a little bit first, then get back to work. Quit looking at the big picture. Make small changes, small goals. You’re tendency to forget this fundamental truth is one of your biggest flaws. You will need to pray to it, to make it a mantra, to recite it every morning and every afternoon and every evening. It can go something like this:
Focus on the path you walk on, not the destination. Set small goals. Celebrate their achievement.
Motivation thinks in the short term and he is implacable. You must play by his rules. Cut your food up into little pieces so that he can digest. Ultimately, he will the eat the entire meal, but if you give it to him all at once he will suffocate.
Give yourself some god damn credit too. Look how far you’ve come. You worked hard as hell and you deserve this. You’re a good guy and I have faith in you.
Thanks. You’re going to make me cry.
No shame in that, friend.
What would I do without you?
Suffer.
I promise to listen to you.
I may not always be there. You must face some obstacles alone, or with the help of the others, one of whom seems to be more head strong than the rest. Watch out for him. He is good but he is bad too.
